November 3rd 2005

Today was so perfect. I woke up around 6am, stood up, then sat down and just rocked back
and forth on the floor for a good two hours or so, crying and listening to the brand-spanking new James Taylor
album. Then I called this guy Ricky who makes those flavored toothpicks. I don't know him or anything, so
he just hung up on me, but I kept talking to him for another 30 or 40 minutes until I told him I had to head
out to lunch with my uncle, which was true. My uncle didn't show up for lunch, but he sent the entire cast
of SNL to meet with me instead. I thought they were really funny and we had a great time until one of
them tried to make a joke and things just got really awkward. They dropped me off at the mall, even
though I didn't have any interest in going there and I spent over three thousand dollars at the Orange
Julius stand on funny hot dogs.