May 23 2019

Wake/Funeral requests for/by David Michael Conway to be executed upon his death:: When preparing my body for display at my wake, please make sure my hand is propped up in a handshake position. Please then have a video camera tape the entire wake and see who shakes my dead hand. Also, please make sure I am made to look like I am winking. Note anyone who winks back at me. I would like to be smiling too please. Make sure tiny bits of corn are stuck in between my teeth. Give anyone who attempts to remove the corn from my teeth one thousand dollars cash as they leave the wake. Tell them they were a true friend. The zipper on my pants MUST be down. Anyone who attempts to zip me up should be called a pervert and asked unpolitely to leave the wake. My left hand should be clutching what appears to be a treasure map. Anyone who attempts to take this should be left alone. The map will lead them to Blockbuster Video in Woonsocket Rhode Island and I feel this is punishment enough for them trying to steal from me. (Also, if I am wealthy please hire a pirate for the wake who will lurk in the background, his eyes always focused on the treasure map in my hand. This will help convince everyone that the map is real.)